Some things take longer than others to accomplish but that doesn’t mean you don’t get to accomplish them…
I’m studying for my mid-term exam.
At my age that could mean a colonoscopy I suppose. However, no. I mean it in the traditional sense. School.
I’m working on my Bachelor of Arts degree at University of Toronto Scarborough College. Still. It’s been a verrrrrry long road. (Hint: my student number starts with “76”).
I started down the road as many did…directly from high school. In 1976 I completed Grade 13 and graduated in June, then started my university career (at UTSC even then) in September. Naturally I didn’t plan for that career to take even longer than my actual career. That’s just what life does sometimes, right?
Even as a kid I was a school nerd. I like learning things. Exploring ideas. However, as a young person I was handicapped by shyness. I rarely actively participated in class, hated to be assigned to group work, and was paralyzed by presentations. I was happy buried in the library. I enjoyed the lectures but the tutorials–with their more intimate format–were scary.
About a year and a half in to my university career I started to be swayed by the siren call of “life”. Earning money, working full time, being a grown up. I wanted all that. I completed that year but my heart wasn’t in it and my grades reflected my inattention. I chose to see it as a self-fulfilling prophecy…that it was time to quit and get on with things. So I did.
Fast forward about 10 years. I was married, working full time, with small children. The benefits offered by my employer included something called ‘tuition reimbursement’. Over that gap of 10 years I had occasionally thought and voiced “what if”. Now, coupled with outside pressure to do whatever it might take to ‘move up’ in the organization–“just think what getting a degree might mean”–I decided to return to my studies, albeit on a part-time basis given all my other commitments.
No longer shy, I struggled for other reasons than just trying to study–the biggest one being a lack of self-confidence. That, coupled with the juggling act for time, made it a losing battle. Over the course of a year and a half I attempted three more classes and was successful in two of them. For a relatively young family with bills, it wasn’t a happy time when I managed to fail a course and thus not get reimbursed. That was the end of that experiment.
Another 30-odd years have now gone by. My life is very different. Make that DIFFERENT. Retired, confident, and still love to learn and explore ideas, plus engage with others and explore with them. See their points of view, hear their experiences. Share mine.
What really motivated me though, what put the idea of school back in my head, was that it’s always just been ‘hanging out there’, unfinished business. When I completed high school and got into university my parents were over the moon–I was the first generation in our family to do so. They didn’t care what I studied, just that I was there was enough for them. They scraped the money together to send me and pay my way…no OSAP or anything like that. Over the years I’ve always regretted not giving them their money’s worth.
So now here I am again, studying for a mid-term exam (well, after this quick blogging break lol). I re-enrolled last year and am mid-way through my third class. I only take one at a time–I’m not in a hurry and am enjoying myself immensely! I have to choose each class carefully, to work around other commitments. I’m blessed by being ‘grandfathered’ (‘grandmothered’?) meaning I am allowed to complete the requirements of my degree as it was written back in 1976. This gives me loads of leeway in what I study. So far I’ve enjoyed two English classes and am currently taking Geography.
What is it like? My current class has 24 students and my best guess is, next to me, the oldest is probably about 22 years old. They are great people with exciting ideas and open minds. My professor is about my daughter’s age and, in fact, has a child the same age as my eldest grandchild! We have fun, we trade stories and marvel at the world together. Through all the classes I’ve had a few students tell me they wish they could talk to their mom/dad/parent/family as they do with me. I tell them it’s because I’m a stranger, no baggage, no skin in the game. To be patient with their mom/dad/parent/family.
Should I have waited? Maybe. University isn’t cheap and, being on a fixed income is also why I take one class at a time. I think I’m eligible for some sort of financial break on fees once I’m 65 and I may still be at it by then! But I didn’t want to wait…rarely does good come from waiting to do something positive with your life. When the time for convocation finally comes, I hope my kids and grandkids will come to watch. My little piece of paper, 40+ years in the making, will be for them–and my parents–as much as myself.
– Marilyn
Comments are closed.